38 Specials

Well, ladies and gentlemen, two weeks have passed since last I blogged, predicting a resounding victory for my New England Patriots against the San Diego Chargers. Gee. They put up 38 against the hapless Bolts, as they did against another 2006 playoff team, the New York Jets. Color me shocked.

The team then followed those outings with -- surprise surprise -- 38 points, this time tacked to the backsides of whatever remained of the Buffalo Bills by the end of last Sunday's matchup.

The Patriots have produced more yardage than any other team in football. The Pats' D has allowed fewer yards against than any other team in football.

And still, the cry goes out from the various Patriot Haters league-wide,

"Wahhhhhh they only won [fill in important game here] because they cheat!"

Hey whiners: Shaddap. First of all, it's becoming readily apparent to all but the losers in question, that they won those games because they were the better team. But more importantly, there is nothing you can do about it now.

No, you can not have a ring for losing, Donovan. By the way, it is also not tougher that you lost because you are black.

No, Hines and Jerome, you didn't lose because the Patriots stole your signals. You got outplayed and outprepared, and you know it.

No, Marshall Faulk. It is not New England's fault that the Rams never became the dynasty they "should" have become. It is the Rams' fault, for declaring "Tonight, a dynasty is born" -- and then losing the game. This silly hubris is only made more obvious by the actual birth of a dynasty that night, that is, the Patriots' dynasty.*

*The Rams' dynasty-proclaimer was Ricky Proehl, who went on to catch a ball that almost got the Rams back in Super Bowl XXXVI. Then he caught a ball that almost got the Panthers back into Super Bowl XXXVIII two years later. Ricky did not, however, manage to help Donovan McNabb lose the game in Super Bowl IXL. His presence on last year's Colts team made me wonder how, exactly, they'd allow the Bears back into Super Bowl XLI, so he could help lose that one.

But I blogged about Those Guys last time. Here's the new part:

Hey, fellow Pats fans? Shut the (Kevin) Faulk up, will ya?

Nobody is "stealing" your first round pick next year. Nobody is "out to get" the Patriots. Well, they are, but not any more so than usual. The league did not "throw the book" at the team.

Just as the national media and other fan-bases are whining that the Pats got off with a slap on the wrist for committing the grievous sin of taping defensive coaches (as I understand it, the case has now been turned over to a war crimes tribunal to determine whether it was also a crime against humanity), Patriots fans are whining that Goodell is the NFL's Hitler, Stalin, and bloody Sauron all rolled into one, for docking the Pats a first in 2008.

I for one am sick and tired of it all. It's time to decide matters on the field, not in the press, the booth, or the chatroom.

Bill Belichick said it best, when he said... oh who even remembers. He said something in a monotone acknowledging that the Pats were following one "interpretation" of the rules, and that the league actually followed another "interpretation", and that he had a football game to prepare for so shut up about it already. But somewhere in there he did say the word "apologize."

I think he did exactly what the league accused him of, and he admitted it to exactly the extent necessary. He did not go into loving detail about his "interpretation." He did apologize. He did move forward.

As for the team? They rallied around him, and have now gone from a super bowl contender to the super bowl favorite. The story line emerging to supplant the "they never were that good in the first place, they only won because they cheated" story, is the "Oh-ohhhh they're pissed now and might go 16-0" story.

At least until the league officially zaps Belichick for the format of his injury report. I note that Tom's still got that sore shoulder for the sixth year running.

Don't get me wrong. It would be a sad thing to praise a man for cheating but apologizing well. I do, however, stand in admiration of an organization disciplined enough to understand the breach for what it was - nothing more, nothing less. I admire Belichick's singlemindedness and detatchment, which allows him to take this year's shitstorm in stride, and focus on his goal.

And of course, completely apart from this whole circus, I admire him for being the best football coach in the modern era. By the time he's done, we might be saying the best in the history of the game.

By the way, I also admire Tony Dungy for being a deeply religious man, and I am fairly certain he helps old ladies cross the street frequently, probably listening to bible verse MP3s on his i-pod. Oh yeah and he faced personal tragedy too.

I admire Bill Cowher's chin, second only to Jay Leno's.

But as a pure football coach, nobody approaches Belichick.

So ladies and gentlemen, mesdames et monsieurs, go out and buy that Hoodie. Wear it with pride: not because your team broke the rules -- and don't get it twisted, we did break them -- but because your coach is one of history's greats, and he's most likely on the road to a fourth ring (just counting the ones he's earned as a head coach.) Wear it because he's a better coach, with his faults, than anybody else in the league, even those seemingly without them.

And most of all, wear it because he plays to win, and gets his guys to win, avoids excuses, and allows the team's performance to do the talking. You will never hear him say a negative word about an opponent before or after a game, and the Pats' locker room is almost as mum as their coach when it comes to smack-talk, excuses, and whining at refs, the league, the media, or other dispensers of perceived injustice.

Wear it because good sportsmanship also includes saying "I lost" when you lost, just as much as "I broke the rules" when you broke them. And sports includes good sports too, not just good sportsmanship.

Or, for you San Diego fans, you can go out an pick up a Tomlinson jersey and proudly proclaim, "If we ain't cryin', we ain't tryin'!"

Blacker Friday

Well, it's been two weeks, gentile reader, and the furor over Rodney Harrison has subsided, thrust aside by the maelstrom that is CameraGate.

Let's start with the obvious: We had cameras. They were found to be in violation of league policy. The league fined us, docked us a first rounder, and said we are bad people. It should be mentioned that although the league had the videotape (confiscated in the first quarter,) the Patriots did not, and won convincingly against the Jets (again,) a playoff team from last year.

That's about it. At least, in terms of the known facts.

Enter the unknowns. To quote Donald Rumsfeld (who really should have been a poet, rather than a secretary of Defense,) "there are known unknowns, and there are unknown unknowns."

The known unknowns include:

- Did any videotape get used to influence the outcome of a game in progress? (we have no evidence leading to the idea that it did. If it did, it was used within a 12-minute halftime window. I don't see it.)

- Was any team beaten in large part because of the use of such tapes as advance scouting tools? Perhaps teams beaten by a field goal may claim the tape study provided the edge -- but it's right up there with saying "we should have beaten Indy, but we had the flu and they turned up the heat in their dome to capitalize on that..."

Woulda coulda shoulda and 3.25 will buy you a large (sorry, vente) mocha latte, bitch.

The unknown unknowns include: WTF else is going to be deemed a fineable/draftpickdockable/suspendable offense in the NFL?

First, let's deal with the known unknowns.

Memo to Donovan McNabb and the Eagles: no, you don't get "your" ring now. You, Donovan McNabb, could not run a two minute offense. You, Donovan McNabb, could not outplay this team leading up to that two minutes. You, Donovan McNabb, have no evidence that the Patriots had an unfair advantage over the Eagles. Period. End of story.

Go eat a big bowl of New England clam chowder with your mommy nearby and get over it.

How about Lady Tom of San Diego fame, he of the infamous post-game crybaby meltdown last winter?

"The Patriots seem to live by the saying 'if you ain't cheatin' you ain't tryin'," the self-proclaimed epitome of class recently opined.

Ohhhhh it's like that.

Then tell me, Lady Tom, by what maxim does Shawn "Roid Rage" Merriman, your teammate, live?

They've been coming out of the woodwork in droves. Hines Ward, who proclaimed the Steelers to have played in the Super Bowl, when in fact they had lost to the Patriots in the AFC Championship game the previous season, says of that game now:

"Oh, they knew ... They were calling our stuff out. They knew, especially that
first championship game here at Heinz Field. They knew a lot of our calls.
There's no question some of their players were calling out some of our
stuff."

Riggght. The difficulty, however, is that this could also be a result of being out-coached in a way not involving videotape. The difficulty is, Hines, you lost the bloody game, didn't you? You got beat by another team, which stopped your Super Bowl ambitions. Isn't that the case?

And why was Denver able to beat the Patriots in 2005? Why was Indy able to do it in 2006? Why weren't you, in short, able to beat the New England Patriots?

Is it possible, friends, that the Patriots admittedly over-the-top and punishable-by-fines-and-draft-picks scandal, does not, in fact, excuse the failings of every team that could not beat the Patriots? Is it in fact possible, dare I suggest it, that the solid thumping the Jets took at the Patriots' hands this year -- after the camera confiscation, mind you -- explains much more? Is it possible that the Patriots' success in the first half of playoff games dating back to 2001 -- which far exceeds their success after halftime -- puts to rest this notion that "We only lost cuz they're big fat cheaters?"

Yeah, it's possible. It's probable. But these players are banking on the fact that "we'll never know," as some substitute for the glory they've never attained. And coaches are doing it too.

Get a grip, guys. You've got your "asterisk." In my heart, I don't even give it a moment's credence. But in your minds, this can be just like the 49ers only winning because of Carmen Policy's cap crimes, or the Cowboys only winning because Irvin was on drugs all the time, or whatever.

It doesn't help you going forward.

And going forward, you better pray that the Patriots "only won because they cheated." Because if you're wrong, you're looking at a team a couple of flu shots away from another Lombardi last year, pumped full of new talent in the offseason, and -- just in case they needed it -- backed into a corner.

Hey Patriots haters out there: get ready for a big, national "Oh ohhhhhhh," should the Patriots convincingly beat San Diego tomorrow night.

Much love to you all,

The PatriotsExPatriot

Black Friday: Ranting Re: Rodney

I can't even put myself in the "I would"/"I wouldn't" mindset.

I'd like to think not, but it's not my world. Maybe I would. But not everybody would, and there are known penalties for those who do. And that's the key.

I mean, I am as "understanding" of Rodney as I am of Merriman.

If it's cheating, it's cheating, whether you are a young guy trying to dominate the league from the get-go, or an older guy trying to come back.

It either IS or IS NOT something for the league to stamp out. I never got on much of a soapbox about it before, be it Bonds, Merriman, or whoever (oh and yes, HGH may as well be steroids, if you ask me.)

But the point is, I believe it is something to stamp out. Rodney's penalty has to be part of that. As Rodney said, no excuses.

But if Rodney needed HGH to come back from an injury, he might be just one more injury from the end of the line... and I don't mind that a fan favorite might have to leave the game sooner.

These guys don't owe us that screwed up of a mindset. If it's a matter of "heal fast or be cut," it's going to be the same story elsewhere as well. My guess is with Rodney it's not the money driving it, or the couple more years on the field, it's the game and the winning.

So what can I say? I AM like a Bonds fan or a Merriman fan in a way.

I mean, I don't say "It's no big deal." I say "Do the crime, do the time" (a 4 week suspension.) I also say boot his ass if there's any kind of pattern.

But I wish I didn't.

I also say I understand totally that I am no better... only that even the weakest are strengthened when uncertaintly of outcome is removed. So, were I in that position, and were Rodney a higher character guy than me, I might do the higher character thing, because I saw what happened to Harrison (et al.)

That's a fancy way to say that Rodney might be a fantastic "high character guy" who got busted his first time out -- doesn't matter, from that perspective. The game's bigger than him. He's no longer a high-character guy. His record's got a blot.

I hope he spends the rest of his career clean, and this is a one-time, really hugely embarassing eff-up. I also hope (and actually, I think this is the case,) that it's about love of the game rather than a need for the money.

But allow me to speak directly to Mr. Harrison for a moment:

Dude, if it's about love of the game... well, just love it a little less. Especially when Dr. Feelgood is around. So maybe you recover a little slower now. Maybe you don't recover fast enough for the Pats anymore. Maybe you don't recover fast enough for the NFL anymore.

Then that's nature's way of telling you to go home.

Now don't get me wrong, you would be going with the love of every Pats fan who ever saw you pick off Satan Manning, or put a shoulder into a receiver across the middle. But if it/when it does come down to that? Don't do it again on our account. Let us whine and moan on our little fan boards til the cows come home... and just take off somewhere to catch some fish.

Now, if it IS about the money? Come on man. Less love, but same idea applies.

One caveat... I'd like to spend this morning crowing about how our guy Rodney's different, splitting hairs, etc. Don't get me wrong... I just can't.

He did the crime... part of "doing the time" is that guys like us that WANT to sing his praises can't. Just can't, unless we're idiots. It's an awkward position.

HEY, Rodney, here is the deal: I will never know the physical pain you guys go through for the career, the glory, and yes, the money.

You might never get that guys making 25, 50, 100 grand a year... are WANTING to defend you, a multimillionaire trying to extend his career...but we can't. We just can't do it.

I don't want to make a big deal about it, and can't wait until blogs touching on Rodney will be touching on a game-changing hit or interception. But right now, dude, that part - not being able to argue your case? That part kind of sucks.

See you in 5 weeks.