Blacker Friday

Well, it's been two weeks, gentile reader, and the furor over Rodney Harrison has subsided, thrust aside by the maelstrom that is CameraGate.

Let's start with the obvious: We had cameras. They were found to be in violation of league policy. The league fined us, docked us a first rounder, and said we are bad people. It should be mentioned that although the league had the videotape (confiscated in the first quarter,) the Patriots did not, and won convincingly against the Jets (again,) a playoff team from last year.

That's about it. At least, in terms of the known facts.

Enter the unknowns. To quote Donald Rumsfeld (who really should have been a poet, rather than a secretary of Defense,) "there are known unknowns, and there are unknown unknowns."

The known unknowns include:

- Did any videotape get used to influence the outcome of a game in progress? (we have no evidence leading to the idea that it did. If it did, it was used within a 12-minute halftime window. I don't see it.)

- Was any team beaten in large part because of the use of such tapes as advance scouting tools? Perhaps teams beaten by a field goal may claim the tape study provided the edge -- but it's right up there with saying "we should have beaten Indy, but we had the flu and they turned up the heat in their dome to capitalize on that..."

Woulda coulda shoulda and 3.25 will buy you a large (sorry, vente) mocha latte, bitch.

The unknown unknowns include: WTF else is going to be deemed a fineable/draftpickdockable/suspendable offense in the NFL?

First, let's deal with the known unknowns.

Memo to Donovan McNabb and the Eagles: no, you don't get "your" ring now. You, Donovan McNabb, could not run a two minute offense. You, Donovan McNabb, could not outplay this team leading up to that two minutes. You, Donovan McNabb, have no evidence that the Patriots had an unfair advantage over the Eagles. Period. End of story.

Go eat a big bowl of New England clam chowder with your mommy nearby and get over it.

How about Lady Tom of San Diego fame, he of the infamous post-game crybaby meltdown last winter?

"The Patriots seem to live by the saying 'if you ain't cheatin' you ain't tryin'," the self-proclaimed epitome of class recently opined.

Ohhhhh it's like that.

Then tell me, Lady Tom, by what maxim does Shawn "Roid Rage" Merriman, your teammate, live?

They've been coming out of the woodwork in droves. Hines Ward, who proclaimed the Steelers to have played in the Super Bowl, when in fact they had lost to the Patriots in the AFC Championship game the previous season, says of that game now:

"Oh, they knew ... They were calling our stuff out. They knew, especially that
first championship game here at Heinz Field. They knew a lot of our calls.
There's no question some of their players were calling out some of our
stuff."

Riggght. The difficulty, however, is that this could also be a result of being out-coached in a way not involving videotape. The difficulty is, Hines, you lost the bloody game, didn't you? You got beat by another team, which stopped your Super Bowl ambitions. Isn't that the case?

And why was Denver able to beat the Patriots in 2005? Why was Indy able to do it in 2006? Why weren't you, in short, able to beat the New England Patriots?

Is it possible, friends, that the Patriots admittedly over-the-top and punishable-by-fines-and-draft-picks scandal, does not, in fact, excuse the failings of every team that could not beat the Patriots? Is it in fact possible, dare I suggest it, that the solid thumping the Jets took at the Patriots' hands this year -- after the camera confiscation, mind you -- explains much more? Is it possible that the Patriots' success in the first half of playoff games dating back to 2001 -- which far exceeds their success after halftime -- puts to rest this notion that "We only lost cuz they're big fat cheaters?"

Yeah, it's possible. It's probable. But these players are banking on the fact that "we'll never know," as some substitute for the glory they've never attained. And coaches are doing it too.

Get a grip, guys. You've got your "asterisk." In my heart, I don't even give it a moment's credence. But in your minds, this can be just like the 49ers only winning because of Carmen Policy's cap crimes, or the Cowboys only winning because Irvin was on drugs all the time, or whatever.

It doesn't help you going forward.

And going forward, you better pray that the Patriots "only won because they cheated." Because if you're wrong, you're looking at a team a couple of flu shots away from another Lombardi last year, pumped full of new talent in the offseason, and -- just in case they needed it -- backed into a corner.

Hey Patriots haters out there: get ready for a big, national "Oh ohhhhhhh," should the Patriots convincingly beat San Diego tomorrow night.

Much love to you all,

The PatriotsExPatriot